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“We are all damaged in our own way, no one is perfect.”

– Johnny Depp

“If you want to know where your heart is; look where your mind goes when it wanders.”

“Be with someone that requires you to grow, makes you forget your problems, holds your hand, likes to kiss, appreciates art, and adores you.”

“Speak the truth; even when your voice shakes.”

“Welcome to “Karma Cafe”. There are no menus. You will get served what you deserve.”

“People say nothing’s impossible…But I do nothing every day.”

– Winnie The Pooh

“In all things that appear to be great; Were once hardships & failure. Great things are earned & worked for, if it not; It’s not considered great. Just mediocre.”

…with half of my heart

Where to start? Well it’s quite the complicated story if I may say so myself. I’m not going to get into specific detail. We will save that for a different date. As, it’s getting late & I’m sure this hopefully wont be too long. But I absolutely love this man to death. I have never met any man that has been more caring and full of determination to make something work as bad as he has. In every way possible he has made an effort to prove that he really wants our family to be together and is 100% dedicated in doing whatever it takes to make it work. Its eye opening. I have never realized this before. I have pretty much told myself that i was more annoyed by it if anything & that alone was enough for me to pursuade myself to be more distant torward him. It’s unfortunate because he deserved so much more. He needed me to tell him it was going to be alright; and that in fact, we were going to be alright. And that was something that I failed to do at that point in time. I’m honestly from the bottom of my heart sorry for putting that weight on your shoulders. No one deserves to feel that low; and now that I look back on it I think anyone would agree that I should have handled it very differently. But I had so much shit going on at that point in time that I couldn’t ever get my mind right..I am very thankful to have had the time to come back to reality. He never ran or left my side and the more i pushed him away the harder he tried. & I realized thath’s all I had really been looking for this whole time. Was some kind of stability. Was one guy to prove the rest to be wrong. That not all men are the same. And they aren’t. I unconditionally love this man for multiple reasons. The main one being that he is the father of my child. And he always will be. There is nothing that can take away the bond that we have when it comes to her. She is everything to the both of us. She is perfect. & we did that; we gave life to an amazing little girl who will forever love us unconditionally. Not much can top a love like that. Not to mention he’s my best friend. How convenient? I guess what I’m trying to say is that regardless of what happens, together or not, for life or temporarily, I will always love this man. He is beyond amazing & a one hell of a dad. And I can’t say that I’d change him for anything in the world. I will always love and respect him for everything he is and everything he does & has done. No matter what the situation may be.

TMariex0

&in the end, it’s all about love.

Think about it, every single person on the planet lives their life looking for love. Not necessarily the romantic kind; but whether it be a love of a sport, money; or a job, or art, or another person, or an animal, everyone still looks for something to whole-heartedly be able to love. It’s what keeps us going, the drive that pushes us forth. Every hope-less romantic out there waiting for that specific fairy-tale story with the perfect ending. That’s why so many women end up in horrible severve controlling relationships. Because they soo badly need a man to make them feel like they are needed. And listen to the same bullshit excuses over and over again after cheating, and lying, and doing a whole bunch of hurtful & spiteful things.. because after they are done with their fit and they explode, they say a bunch of “i’m sorry’s” have make up sex with you and then your supposed to just let it go. Women settle for that because women have that need to feel like they belong to someone..like someone cares enough to lash out because if they didnt make it a big deal then that would mean they didn’t care. And we all know all of this is bullshit; but when you get to that point in a relationship to where you dont want to leave just on the hope that he could change and be the man he once was & you thought what you had was real enough & worth it, then yeah it’s a hell of a lot harder to just leave…. We all know where that road goes. I feel so bad for women that feel that they are just simply not good enough to find another man, like there is no such thing of a good guy; or if there was they would never give them a chance. Every woman is drop dead beautiful to the man that truly loves her. No matter what flaws or imperfections any woman has; there is a man who sees them the complete opposite. And as long as you don’t have hope & you don’t at least try, you’ll never meet anyone because close-mindedness gets you absolutely no where. You have to actually do things, socialize, have fun, live your life happily & if by chance someone comes along and sweeps you off of your feet so be it. But, do NOT live your life wallowing & waiting because in doing so; you’re missing many other opportunities. It’s intimidating actually, i mean i get it. Like how are you supposed to know? Do you go on a billion dates until you feel something? No. You simply just roll with the punches; go about your every day life normally. It’s always unexpected. Always. It will come to you right when your life seems to be ready for it. You’ll just know. I’m a firm believer in fate; and i live by knowing that everything happened for a reason. I truly believe in destiny & I believe in the twist and turns of fate as well. And a huge Karma believer, hence the reason I have went out of way to apologize to a number of people about some actions i have done that I’m not quite proud of. But I’m very honest for the most part; if I’m confronted about an issue I’m as honest as I can be due to my knowledge of the situation it’s regarding. I do my damnest to be a person I would appreciate and respect having as a friend. But I’m sure there are many of people out there that would like to debate that. It all comes down to how you approach a situation. But when it comes to love; I believe it just happens out of absolutely no where when you least expect it, I do believe everyone has their fairy-tale ending. Obviously everyone would see their’s differently… but I believe if someone follows the signs and just lets fate decide, they’d live an entirely different way of life. I have been in- love several times, and I have been sure of this, but; i have not experienced that can’t eat can’t sleep for months type of thing. I believe if you’re truly meant to be with that someone then you wouldn’t get the desire to be unfaitful, and no one else would matter because you’d truly be too busy trying to make eachother happy, and you’d live your lives trying to please eachother in new ways every day & always laughing & never sad.. I REALLY WANT TO BELIEVE THIS IS POSSIBLE! I can’t even describe how bad I want to believe in this. I’m so disappointed. Our generation totally killed chivalry; It’s literally dead, that is no longer just a saying. People in general lost the entire quality of respect. Not just for others; but for themselves as well. Somewhere along the lines all of this behavior these days shit went completely bat-shit! The standards & expectations of people have completely been done away with. Oh; how times have changed. At what point did women just turn into a piece of ass, or someone to secretly have sex with because you were better in bed than their girlfriend; but you weren’t a bring home to mom type of chick.. Since when did women find this okay; & acceptable.? NO self-worth. It’s a shame; because a woman is the 2nd most tempting thing on Earth. Falls slightly behind Money; Slightly. If women are just throwing the shit in the air like It’s a free sample smoothie at the mall then you can’t really expect men to have much respect for them. No point in working for something that’s noticably catchable. Do you think anyone would care about catching a butterfly if they let you just pick them up? I doubt it, simply because it would’nt be a rarity to catch them anymore. On to the Next; exactly my point. It’s human nature to chase after something you think you can’t have. Whether it’ a job, a goal, whatever it may be; it’s still something that seems hard to achieve. And once you reach that goal, you make bigger goals, and try to achieve more… same goes for the way men & women are with the opposite sex. It’s the thrill of the chase..you have to keep giving your man reasons to stay & want to be faitful & the same goes for a man.. Men are everywhere; why should i stay with YOU? It’s a lifetime of reminding eachother what made you want it so bad to begin with; and if you can find the other half of you that can do this with you, Never jeopardize it. Because that’s true love.; and these days, it’s hard to come by.

TMariex0

“To live a creative life; you must first lose the fear of being wrong.”